“Rob A Man Of His Subterfuge and He Goes Crazy.” –Ingmar Bergman

I found my Blue Diamond brand, Almond crisps, crackers, quite by accident.A few weeks ago the beloved chips were no more on the shelves where I’ve grown so accustomed, I did not even bother to picture record or memorize the brand or name on box. Why?Then they ‘went away’. And I’ve been so used to their presence and use in my life. Suddenly gone I’ve been spinning. How do I replace it? What with? Do without? Dunno. And it recalls being here in this chair as a place of comfort and in Meditation trying to visualize smiling and a warm glow sun growing out of my chest expanding all throughout everything, but not being able to because yesterday or the day before I was rudely interrupted from writing, my sole / soul handle lock on my sanity, to write and or to read, at leisure, for an unspecified time, to be able to do this whenever I can, and it’s usually when others are asleep, I am and have been an early riser, is my “thing”, me time, subterfuge. So that anything anyone stopping me, keeping me from this tenuous filial practise, just rips my soul, tears me asunder. I put up with a lot of distractions, I deal with a lot in a very detached calm cool manner and usually with the bulk, with very little movement on my part, which I LOVE all the more. I cannot deal with people and things fucking with my writing and reading time. It sets the grooves the moves the tumblers all right for me in my day. TODAY, wandering around in the Grocery Store, I had made a mental note of only a few things and was ending up turning spinning distractedly going up and down same aisles through no fault but my own internal meanderings…I do a lot of it and it is fine, I am for the most part where when I want to be doing this, but for today, it was a bit of effort, and I felt pressure. But because of the turning around and repeated moves through aisles looking specifically for things I’d said, well, I’ll come back and get the chocolate milk if the yogurt drink doesn’t seem right. Well, it was a great deal the yogurt drink wasn’t and the cheese was moldy in the package that I also didn’t grab, because when I went back for the milk, there below AH! My Chips! I promptly grabbed 3 boxes, my usual for the week sometimes, and you can bet I’ll be sure to write down the brand, the variety, and snap a picture of it as well. All so unnecessary now of course. Point is, driven to distraction, the natural course, universe tugging pushing pulling you always into working on your patience, gnawing at you to learn impermanence, to accept, it is not going on for long, etc., well…It seems I have a great story to tell and am grateful. I told the lady at the check out how happy I was that I found my favorite crackers, after she had asked if I had found everything I was looking for, etc. She asked are they a cracker or a snack? I said they are a cracker that is a snack. She laughed. I later explained how for me they’re my deal for less wheat, flour, etc. And I thanked her for allowing me to ‘process’.

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I think of you often. I see you in my dreams. I know it will NEVER be but it behooves me not. I press on, undaunted. I am either completely stupid or very persistent. How important can it be? Mine was a young and foolish heart, seeking love at every turn. Let the past just fade away. Why get lost in yesterday? The important thing is here and now. How important can it be? Well, experts tell us that LOVE is THE thing, and is not to be bandied about. IF only I could touch you, more than the wind touches the sea or sail for that matter, but as continuously for sure, to be certain, it would in my mind and heart mean and matter the most, if reciprocity…if of you and your heart there was feedback…but, there is not. YOU are TOO YOUNG and it is IMPOSSIBLE…yet, my heart knows not IMPOSSIBLE. It only knows possibilities. It COULD. And, in real actual life actuality, it COULD. But, chances are, as a person even looking from the remote exterior, NOPE, nada. HA-HAH!! “FAT CHANCE!” They’d say. Well, phooey on them! I say. It doesn’t click with me in my mind and senses, that, I’d get a NO! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!! UNLESS or until we could even MEET and see/say, get a “sense” of whatever the magnetic resonance that is 2 people in proximity. But, it seems to me, that will NEVER be. STILL, I would LOVE for it occurring in my life “reality”, to actuality, to actually occur. I know it could. I really do. Don’t know how or why, but, I do. Just wish I had some power over the elements to “Make It So”.

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To The Future Job-Seeker

Mark thee well my words:


It’s very likely to be the next item newsworthy. At least it may appear, and be a little bother for some.

While it is understandable, to consider, gee, just what is IN this goop of poly-what’s-it-gly-conol??? and am I alergic or will I succumb from it / unknown long-term effects…SOME places may indeed stamp down their Iron Heels. No Jab, No Job.

In addition to your spotless no gap CV, “Where’s Your Card?”

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I would certainly be depressed if attracted to this beautiful woman on the platform in front of the moving train. I would at least be sad to see a ring on her left ring finger that speaks of a marriage I’m not involved in with this kind person, a perfect human being. Yes, certainly so. I don’t require some nitwit “science” AD to convince me of my moral turpitude. Geez!

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You might as well go to hell now instead of masturbating in a cage on live-feed fb, twit, insta, yabgab, etc.

IF young one all your efforts are wasted in this manner, one might as well go home, live with the parentals, take care of them, never marry, certainly never take a pet or boarders, keep off-line, and maybe only just purchase the latest cellphone, but definitely don’t do the pc or streaming subscriptions. Geez. What a world, what a world, to quote the Wicked Witch of 1939.

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Brother. I tell you! You look. You see. You feel and you think just what I want you to, I hope.

I tell you. I long for a day, a time and a place, forever, when and where, I can come and go, as I please, to shop; meander, eat and take a gander, at whatever/whomever, with free will, to comment (in my mind at least), my own opinions, to my self, and not have to share a thing.

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The Coop Mo Kitty Kruz Miasma Diaspora

Cuomo, Kitty kerfuffle Cross mis-guided people divided nonsense mess has me in a mood, okay? Biden hasn’t done any better than Trump did in getting people innoculated, and that dumb arse could have just got his stupid self down on the books as an uncouth braggart, but ended up soiling us all just like Milhous from Yorba Linda, damn it!

NOW, here are all these other straw-men as it were to look at while Joe is…Joe is…what and where precisely? And Kam? Kam? HELLO!? Where are YOU? What’s really going forth at present, and with what should all of us really be concerned?

FINALLY the local vulture in gray has admitted what should have been the rule all along the way, the individual schools and parents should have been deciding to…fill in the blank Put Our Kids and THE FUTURE front center, back in line, going full force once the science proved it wasn’t a bad thing to get our children back to the books in person, never-mind the or one of the Biggest Campaign Funding Group creating yet one more boondoggle, rather like the stupid rail fiasco and the leaving edd gal who now or at last known aspect has a chance in the Biden regime, and this AFTER the 50 BILLION edd fiasco. 1600 people left just before. How VERY convenient, eh? Will they and their ‘secrets’ be “dis-apporated”?


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We’re SO close, right? All we need is a little more patience.

That’s right. Whistle. Tide IS turning. Numbers can’t be fudged forever, can they? Evidence is coming to show that Pendulum swinging in the other direction. People are sick of the obloquy and are speaking out here and there. We’ve mentioned it before that it’ll happen. It is occurring and things are changing. Buck up, be of good cheer, it won’t be long now.

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So, your neighbors are first responders and are getting sick because they’re having bad reactions. Here at the Coastside we predict obloquy culture will crucify anyone not getting the “cures”, and, that the new “casablanca” team will ‘trump’ up their noise and flatulence in a harold of concatenatious thunder about how perfect right sane normal they are in comparison the old regime. Just between you and I, we thinks it’s no more or less than what has been, and naturally, as most of us know and or can surmise when asked in the quietest of moments, it is all par for the course, snafu, the way that it is, and it seems unlikely any real change in the system is to alter, any time soon, or, at all.

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WHAT in HELL kind of bullshit is and are these wholly inn-E-effective coffee ground strainers that are the new trend in coaches face gear? And what in HELL is wrong with the wholly ineffective gaiter / stocking-knit (at least it’s in the “shape” of the proper CHIN-CUPPING) face covering, that Coaches “consistently” persist in REMOVING, repeatedly throughout coached games, to YELL out commands. What the HELL is wrong with these ‘people’? No wonder their teams are continuing their slide towards higher and higher infection rates. Stupid, over-paid, dumb-ass furkey-tuckers.

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